W.A.L.T
- Use paragraphs to link similar ideas together
- write in structured, well developed paragraphs that flow well from and the next within the text
- use linking words or phrases to link paragraphs for effect
What I learn't,
What I learn't from this exercise was to use more descriptive language and be able to hook the reader in to make my text more interesting. I really enjoyed being able to hook the reader in and enjoyed the process of linking ideas to complete the story
What I found difficult,
What I found difficult about this activity was trying to link the ideas from the paragraphs. I also think that next time I could improve on my ideas and try some different types of grammar e.g semicolons
Writing:
As he collapses onto the damp cold floor he stares speechlessly at his hands. he begins to quiver as he tries to hide the fear and guilt of what's happening tomorrow they are coming and he can’t fix it. He pulls his hands back and tries to rest as the voice inside him constantly whispers to him “It's all your fault. They don't want you there, Don’t go back, it’s over...” his stomach churns as he closes his eyes then drifts off into an ocean of shame.
The next mourning he heard footsteps at the door, he had to flee but he felt like he deserved whatever fate lay behind the door. He couldn’t do it, he couldn’t run now, not after what had been chewing inside him all these years, he had to face the truth. He slowly turned the handle and flung open the door “it was me!” he screamed, his hands raised in the air, “what are you talking about” mumbled a soft bitter voice, it was his wife Annie he went to grab her in a hug but she disappeared, was it a hallucination? A chill went up to his back as he sat there torn at what happened. That was the last straw he had to see her again.
He grabbed his belongings and the broken teddy bear stuffed away in a drawer, tears filled his eyes as he stared at it but he didn’t care he needed this, he set out into the woods taking one last glance back into his childhood home then fled, hours went by it seemed like an eternity but he somehow made it through. He decided to sit down before his legs broke in two, he tried to remember Annie and his daughter as well, last time he saw his daughter she was only 1 year old, she would be 12 this year, he flicked through his memories and there was Annie ,she was dancing and took flight on the ballroom floor this memory nurtured him to sleep like a lullaby sung to a baby.
The next mourning he awoke surrounded by Russians, A tall man wearing army badges spoke up “what brings you to Russia my friend” a ghastly grin broke out among the soldiers laughing as the man stood his ground and said “I am here to see my wife and daughter”, the laughter broke and whispers went across the soldiers “sir the closest town is 10 miles that way, the soldier pointed back the way the man had come “But that’s impossible” the man blurted out “ my wife and daughter live over….” he looked behind the soldier there was nothing there but ruin, they had been bombed, he couldn’t believe it!
Panic rose as his face turned red, he sprinted past the soldier's tears streaming down his face “wait” wailed the soldiers “dangerous gas”, the man stopped and picked up what was left of a gas mask, “five minutes” he whispered. He searched the small town or more like what was left of it, bodies lay scattered on the ground until he reached a small cottage and walked inside, a small girl about 12 lays on the floor and next to her was Annie… He reached out and touched her soft face he had 1 minute left tears streamed down his face making his mask fog up, he pulled out the broken teddy bear from his bag and placed it in his daughters arms as he stared upon both of them “I’m sorry I left you”, “I thought you would survive without me we were so poor and.. And.. I love you”. He remembered he had 10 seconds left, but he didn’t want 10 seconds he slowly pulled off his mask and kissed his daughter and wife on the head “I’m sorry” he mumbled. The room went silent and all went black.
The end...
